Out of control
By Anna (Monash Uni)
"Ma passed away last night", were words of my Dad that I'll never forget. It was the day of my first year 12 exam. A day I had focused on for my entire schooling. At school I was a typical 'high flyer'. As well as excelling academically, I busied myself with many extracurricular activities. I was always in control and success and achievement in everything that I did was what gave me purpose. Other people may have thought, 'she's got it all together'. Granted, I was often stressed out and had my fair share of ups and downs, but on the whole I certainly felt like I had everything under control. I had a dream, knew where I was heading and was excited about the journey that lay before me. I was going to get into Science at Monash Uni, live at College, once I graduated I was going to do pharmaceutical research and make a difference in the world.
But that day, my world fell like a ton of bricks. I was really close to my Ma and she was the first person I knew who'd passed away. Never before had I felt so mortal, insecure and out of control. Then moving away from home, friends, family and all sources of familiarity to go to uni made me realise again that not one thing I had was going to last forever and I certainly wasn't in control of what was happening around me. 'If I can't be in control then who can?' I thought.
After filling in a survey in Orientation week I met up Meredith, a student who gave me a little book called "Knowing God Personally". She encouraged me to look through it. That night I opened it up and read that Jesus loves me and promised me that he would never ever leave me. Right there I found the answer - something that is going to last - it was a friendship with Jesus. In that moment I asked Jesus to take control of my life. Since making that decision I now know there is a life far more fulfilling than me trying to be in control. I still have my dreams and goals in life and achievement is still important, but I'm living with a new purpose. A purpose that is not found in success. It is found in a friendship that is forever and will never cease. I now have an amazing sense of joy and peace in knowing that I have something that can't be taken away.
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