Depression
By Luke (Queensland University of Technology)
I guess the only way to start something like this is to try and give a background to myself. Unfortunately, 19 years doesn't compress very easily.
It's hard to describe how various factors and choices in my life led to depression. It's hard to describe what its like to be completely miserable for no good reason, sometimes staying unhappy for weeks at a time. Years 9 & 10 in High School were plagued with long times of withdrawal from socialising and church. Being brought up in a Christian home seemingly enabled me to take Christ's promise of "Having life to the full" for granted. I thought I was a Christian, I mean, I'd asked Jesus into my life, to be my Lord. "What else was there past that?" I asked Him.
When I was midway through grade 10, I went on a holiday camp run by Scripture Union, a Christian organisation. This camp was a relatively intense experience with God. I mean, I was used to once a week going to a service which I zoned out for. This was an exciting, youth-oriented camp which was saturated with intense teaching about God. I'd never seen how God could be relevant, let alone exciting. On this camp I saw that on top of all that, He was real, and wanted to know me.
After the camp, I had my first experience of the struggles that occur when a Christian goes from an intense experience with God to being back in the world. I struggled for awhile - was what I felt real? Or was it just the result of being with a group of great people for a week? Depression resumed, and stayed for a long time.
At the beginning of Grade 12, I went on another camp run by Scripture Union, called Going Places. This camp was different - it wasn't a camp built on emotion, but on definite facts, research and study of the Bible. This combination still resulted in an emotional experience, and I would say that this camp built upon my close experience of God in Grade 10. This camp grounded my faith, showing me that it wasn't just emotion - this is real stuff, verified by people throughout the ages who have come into contact with this same, unchanging God. Coming back from this camp, I was challenged to live as a Christian should - to fully appreciate the life that God has given us.
Through this journey of getting to know God better and thus having a better grounding for my faith, I have learnt so much about trusting more and more of myself to God - even my emotions. With Him in control of my emotions, I feel like depression is a conquerable foe - even if it comes back to challenge me from time to time. Living a Christian lifestyle has also transformed what I thought life could be - from living with my emotions "forcing" me into bad choices, to trusting God to help me make the best decisions.
Now at University, I keep seeing more and more ways that God continues to work in me and in this world to show His love for us. Last year I was involved in an outreach campaign called "I agree with Luke". The Christian group on campus wore shirts which said "I agree with Luke", while posters around campus asked students whether they agreed with Luke. This combination resulted in people asking us questions, which led to deeply spiritual conversations. Seeing how so many people on campus are interested in spiritual matters has made me more confident in sharing about my faith with friends. Looking to the future is an exciting thing as the Christian groups on my campus move for unity and helping the student body in more practical ways. I'm also starting to see more clearly the direction that God wants me to head in - with my Music & Education degree I want to help build up students - not only in their musical ability but also as beings created wonderfully in the image of God.
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