"No one understands me, not even
my family."
By Mike (Macquarie Uni)
How many times do you hear it in songs or movies, "I love you for ever, and ever and ever." I would like to share how I found true love, not in movies, not in girls, not in anything on this earth but in Jesus Christ.
Before I was a Christian I lived a life of constant complaining of my state, why don't I have this and that? I was hardly ever satisfied. The older I got, the more independent and freer I wanted to be. The Chinese culture emphasises on family duties, which includes being a good son, work hard (especially studies) and other "duties" that I did not like. This very much reflected my parent's influences on me and I thought it was restricting me. I wanted to play sports and get a girlfriend yet they just wanted me to study. I was never encouraged to do anything apart from study and this made me believe that all my parents cared about were my grades and nothing else. I began to feel saddened and started distancing myself from them, and as years went by I felt I was the odd one out at home. The older I got the more unloving and rebellious towards my parents and half way through my year ten I suffered depression. I thought, "no one understands me, not even my family". I kept a lot of things inside from my family and friends, and would spend most of the time by myself in my room. Out of sheer frustration at my weird behaviour, my family would scold at me at times. A mixture of circumstances and my poor relationship with my parents continued to feed my depression. This went on for about a year and a half and during those times, thoughts of suicide came to my mind. I had a good family and environment to grow up in but I was somehow never satisfied but felt hopeless and useless. As the scolding from family and depression escalated, I would try to find comfort in a "Gideon" bible that was given to me in year seven. I always believed there is a God out there but I had no idea about what, who, where He/She is/was, but that Gideon bible always gave me just enough strength to get by the nights. I would also cry out "God, what's doin here? What's wrong with me. I hate myself". During these times, I also found a friend that I could trust in sharing about my problems and share my burdens.
The big turning point was towards the end of year eleven, when during a lunch time at school, a friend of mine asked me to go to his church for youth group that was on that Sunday. I have never been invited to a church by anyone but I replied with a "yeah alright". I thought it wouldn't hurt so I went along that Sunday. The first thing that I saw as I sat at the youth group was this pretty young lady. I felt like saying "WOW! There is a God". I have to admit that for a year, my primary motivation in returning to the youth group and church was this girl. But the more I went to church and youth group, the more I learned about Jesus Christ. Gradually I learned that true love is not found in girls or anything else but it can only be known and fulfilled by a relationship with the living God through Jesus Christ. I gradually learned more about what a Christian is, how badly God wanted to be friends with me, how much I hurt God everyday yet His arms are always open and His love and forgiveness is unconditional. I have learnt such love cannot be found anywhere here on Earth, imagine sending your own son to die for your enemy! I was God's enemy for I rejected Him yet Jesus Christ, God's Son, came and took my sins away. My depression quickly left and instead replaced with a positive outlook due to the beautiful hope, love and care that Jesus offers. I realised also that God understands me, and knows how unloving a person I am yet He really, really loves me. When I invited Jesus into my life, things started to change apart from my depression, my negative attitude towards my parents was slowly being replaced by love for them. But most importantly I can truly say someone loves me forever and ever and that is Jesus Christ. He really loves you all too.
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How to begin a relationship with God
