Growing up I always felt like nobody really cared about me.
And it wasn't that my family didn't love me, because they really did.
There was just a lot of other things going on.
I grew up in a home with an alcoholic who was verbally abusive to me.
And enduring this for so long as a child,
I eventually convinced myself that I was completely worthless.
When I was 13 years old, I decided that I needed to find comfort in something.
So when a friend brought over a bottle of liquor, this is where I began to find my comfort.
From 13 years old on, I started to have a drinking problem.
This carried me through for a few years,
but by the time I was in high school, just drinking wasn't enough.
I had too much pain in my heart, so I started smoking weed, too.
By the time I got to college, drinking and smoking weed, once again, was not enough.
I needed more to fill the pain that I had in my heart still, so I started using harder drugs.
Any drug. Whatever was put in front of me.
I had gotten to a point where I had no self-worth left and no self-respect.
I didn't care what happened to me at all.
Around the same time my drinking also started getting much worse.
I started drinking continuous shots of liquor until I was blacked out.
It became a goal, and soon it became an obsession.
By my sophomore year of college, my pain and depression had reached an all time high,
and the only time I was sober was at work and during my classes,
because at least at that time I was distracted.
My friends around me kept urging me to get help, but I wouldn't listen.
I didn't care. I didn't think they cared about me.
I hated my past, and I especially hated everything I had become.
I destroyed every relationship with anybody who meant anything to me.
I was drowning, and screaming out for help, but I felt like nobody could hear me.
One morning, after a night of almost complete destruction, I realized I had to change.
I couldn't keep living my life like this.
I remember just looking up and saying,
"God, I don't know if I am doing this whole prayer thing right, but I really need your help.
I need to get sober, or I'm going to die.
Please help me."
That night, I don't know what came over me.
I had this, this feeling of strength,
and I found myself dumping all of my liquor down the drain and throwing all of my drugs away.
I remember pulling out an old Bible, and that's when I found this Bible verse that was so comforting to me.
Second Corinthians 4:8 says, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed."
I knew I was going to make it this time.
I just kept praying for strength from Jesus, and fully He kept answering all of my prayers.
Through the love and support of my family, my friends, my church, and most of all, of God,
I am now ten months completely and totally sober.
It has been one of the most amazing experiences to learn to really trust Jesus.
Matthew 14:29-31 says, "Then Peter got down out of the boat and walked on the water, and came toward Jesus.
But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.'
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him."
Once I decided that I needed Jesus in my life,
and once I finally decided to cry out to him, Jesus reached out his hand, and he caught me.
Getting sober has been by no means easy, but it has been completely possible, because I have never been alone.
I learned that since Jesus is now in my life, I am a new creation, and the old me isn't part of the new me.
It's separated. I learned that that happened because Jesus died on the cross,
and he made me right with God.
It doesn't matter where I've been or what I've done in the past.
The only thing that matters is that I'm seeking Jesus now with my whole heart.
Jesus has broken every chain of addiction in my life, and so much more.
I have been set free.
What if you took that first step out on the water?