By Cassandra L. Pasadyn
My anxiety comes from my cellphone, a device that conveniently centralizes all of my anxieties.
My anxiety comes from my news app, from hearing one tragedy after the next, facing a global pandemic, and feeling so small and powerless among it all.
My anxiety comes from my Google calendar, from all the events that fill up my schedule, constantly pulling me in different directions, making me question if my commitments are even worth my time.
My anxiety comes from my.harvard grades, from frantically checking my grades at the end of each semester, praying I wouldn't see an A-, because that meant a lecture on "getting my priorities straight" and feeling like a disappointment.
My anxiety comes from the tracking software, from how I am constantly watched and judged, with no privacy, freedom, or any sort of safe space, and how I cannot build trust no matter how much time passes by.
My anxiety comes from the calorie counting app, from the reminder that I am not happy with the athlete I was, my body, and how everyone who surrounds me at home looks so much different than I do.
My anxiety comes from the message notification, from the initial lighting up of my screen late at night, to the contradicting emotions that both wish that it was him, but also wanting it all to be forgotten, and for me to just be healed.
My anxiety comes from my email box, from stressfully waiting for a medical school acceptance and hoping it will lead me to where I am supposed to be.
My anxiety comes from this poem, from the fact that I cannot condense it all into an articulate art piece that can be understood by others.
The overwhelming busyness, family dynamics, high expectations, body image, broken hearts, uncertain futures. And quite frankly, so much more.
This is where My anxiety comes from.
How can you find peace, in the midst of life's anxieties? See this:
Peace of Mind in an Unstable World
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