Is premarital sex wrong?
Should we live boring lives of abstinence?
Q: "Is premarital sex wrong? Why are all the things that are fun and exciting
wrong according to you christians? Why would a God who loved say
that you can not do things that are fun?"
our A: Consider this, is driving a car wrong? No. Is driving a car for an
13-year-old wrong? Yes. It's fun and exciting for the 13-year-old, but
it puts his life and other lives in jeopardy.
Is sex, which is fun, between a husband and wife wrong? No. Is sex wrong if
it's with someone else's spouse? Yes. It may be fun and exciting, but it
often brings tremendous heartache to that person's spouse and the children
involved.
We like to determine what is right and wrong, according to what we
want. That's human nature. If we want to have sex with someone, we want
to set our own standards. Often our standards are, if they're not
married, then ok. But what if the other person is put at risk for a
sexually transmitted disease? Now it gets fuzzy. What if the person is
put at risk for pregnancy and faces the difficult decision of abortion?
Fuzzy also. What if the person is a relative? What if the person is the
same sex? What if it's sex for payment? What if it's sex for
pornography? What if it involves children?
What's fun and exciting to one person may be viewed as very wrong by
someone else. Is it? Where does a person determine what is right and
wrong?
A loving God has made his wisdom on life known to us. He says that
sin is pleasurable for the moment. There probably isn't any sin which is
not at the moment pleasurable. But pleasure can't be our only standard
for making decisions. Think how fun it would have been to really
severely smack a younger brother or sister at times. Pleasurable for the
moment, but fortunately we hold back because pleasure isn't our only
guide.
God wants to keep us from horrendous problems which we can bring on
ourselves by the stupid decisions we make. He genuinely loves us and
wants to protect us from decisions and behavior that will ruin our lives
or someone else's life.
Why does God (who created sex) restrict sex to marriage? Is it to
spoil people's fun or to insure that a couple enjoys the deepest level
of intimacy possible, reserved for only each other? When God gives us
guidance his motives are pure and prompted by his love for us.
People get used sexually for momentary fun and excitement, but what
if there is something more valuable than momentary pleasure? Like
dignity, self-esteem, knowing that you're also treating that other
person with greater value? Perhaps God thinks relationships can be more
intimate, secure and stronger if they are built on something more
substantial than sexual involvement. Whatever God's reasons, his wisdom
surpasses ours and he can be trusted. And quite often we later see
the value of following him.
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How to begin a relationship with God
