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Partying with friends is fun. But do you ever wonder, "Why do I drink at the levels I do?" This might explain…

Article by Judy Clark
Read by Kim Howard

►	I just asked Jesus into my life (some helpful information follows)...
►	I may want to ask Jesus into my life, please explain this more fully...
►	I have a question or comment...

Transcript:

Partying with friends is fun. But do you ever wonder, "Why do I drink at the levels I do?" The following might explain…

One summer in Colorado, a friend and I met some runaways from New Mexico. They had dropped out of high school and wandered around dancing and holding out a cup for money. At first glance, you might think they were wasting their whole lives. But after I spent a couple hours with Gabriel, Sean, Matt, and Peter, I realized they were living out something most people long for.

These guys had little money, no shelter, dirty torn clothes, and barely enough food to stay alive. My friend and I invited them to dinner. We sat in a diner and watched the four of them devour hamburgers, burritos and shakes, and listened to their stories. I realized they were a community.

They looked out for each other. If one got something, he shared it. One guy only ate half his food because he wanted to share the rest with a buddy who wasn't with us. They talked about watching each other's backs. They were parents to each other. They really loved each other. They talked about being afraid, missing their moms, feeling abandoned, being hungry. They were living in a way that I would never choose, but they had something that many clean, educated, "acceptable" people don't.

They had each other. They had real relationships. They were connected.

That's what we all want. We want real life. We don't want to be like the hamster who runs through the maze, and spins all day on his wheel, alone and never getting anywhere. We want to relate, to connect. We want to be part of a community that takes care of each other.

My friend Rebecca recently graduated from Vanderbilt University. As she faced entering the "real world," she said to me, "I just want to be Amish." Her comment had nothing to do with the religion and everything to do with the community. They have neighbors and families. They help each other build barns. They come to the rescue when someone is in danger. Life is simple and slow, and you can handle whatever is around the corner because you know you're not alone. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

I think we're hungry for relationships that are lasting, full of trust and fun. Many of us grew up in homes where our dads worked too late at the office to get another promotion so they could buy the Rolex or Beemer. Moms had college degrees, and families wanted the additional income, so moms worked. Our parents lived under the same roof, but that was about all. Relationships crumbled and divorce rates skyrocketed.

Getting drunk: a weak substitute for healthy relationships

We love to watch movies or episodes where friends appear to be connected. And we desperately want that ourselves. We want and need good relationships, but quite frankly, they are painful and risky.

It's easy to turn to alcohol to numb the loneliness or to create a feeling of being connected to others. At some point you need to ask, is your relationship with others, or with alcohol?

It probably comes as no surprise to you that we go looking for love in all the wrong places. Author and psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, writes: "We all need love during the first few years of life. If we don't receive this love, we hunger for it the rest of our lives.

This hunger for love is so powerful that when we don't find it in relationships with other people, we look for it in other places.

Such as in food, in work, in sexual activity, in spending money, in drinking too much, or in working too much."

When it comes to alcohol, do you ever wonder why you drink as much as you do?

Dr. Cloud explains: "People are usually addicted to a specific substance, such as alcohol, cocaine, speed, work, gambling, destructive relationship, religiosity, achievement, and materialism. These substances and activities never satisfy, however, because they don't deal with the real problem. We don't really need alcohol, street drugs, or sex. We can live very well without these things. However, we really do need relationship, and we cannot live very well without it."

When you have good relationships, you don't need to find security in something else, whether it's alcohol, sex or food. When you have good relationships, you're less likely to try to fill the void with something else. When you have good relationships, some of the deepest needs are being met.

Dr. Cloud continues: "Bonding is one of the most basic and foundational ideas in life and the universe. It is a basic human need. God created us with a hunger for relationship. For relationship with him and with our fellow people. At our very core we are relational beings. Without a solid, bonded relationship, the human soul will become mired in psychological and emotional problems. The soul cannot prosper without being connected to others."

How do we learn to have bonded relationships? Begin with being honest with yourself. Could it be that the reason you drink, or eat too much, or eat too little, or abuse sex, or drive yourself to perfection, is because you really need relationships?

There is one key relationship that offers a genuine foundation for healthy relationships with people. When you know you are fully loved and accepted by God, who created you, your emotional tank no longer feels empty. You can pursue relationships with less neediness and a feeling of greater personal security and worth.

Jesus Christ, fully God, came to reveal God to us and invite us into a relationship with him.

One time Jesus was talking with a woman who had been married five times. They were standing next to a well where one draws water.

Jesus said to her: “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him, will never be thirsty again.”

We hunger and thirst for something that will finally satisfy us, something we can always count on. Only God is fully reliable, because only God loves us no matter what we do or how we behave. His love for us never changes.

And he invites us into a relationship with himself, with this promise that holds true… “Jesus said to them: ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.’”

This doesn’t mean you don’t need people; you do. Yet you also need to know God.

If you view God as demanding, as aloof and only issuing commands, then you have a very false view of God. That is not how God describes himself in the Bible. And, that is not what Jesus showed through his interactions with people.

Instead, a relationship with God means being able to take concerns to him, and see him act on your behalf. As you get to know him, you’ll see him guide you in his kindness, and show you how to build healthy relationships. Jesus said, “I came that they might have life, and have it more abundantly.”

What if you had this relationship?

God created you to know him. In the core of your being you know that. But all of us have rebellious spirits, that might say to God: "Hey, you go your way, and I'll go mine. Don't bother me unless I need you."

Others might think, if we can ignore the whole "God thing," it will go away.

Just as drinking or overeating has consequences, so does rebelling against or ignoring God.

God says the consequences of not starting a relationship with him while we’re alive, is that we will remain eternally separated from him. It's hard to think in terms of eternity, but you never know. My friend Steve, a 20-year-old guy, may not be alive by the time you hear this. He's dying because he got HIV from infected blood. He has no choice but to deal with eternity now.

Our sins have created a wall between us and God… all the ways we acted contrary to what we knew was right… all the ways we hurt others or abused ourselves. And no amount of good works will eliminate those sins.

However, out of tremendous love for us, Jesus paid for those sins when he was tortured and put to death on a cross, rising again. He paid for the sin of all humanity out of love for us.

It’s like someone paying for a drunk driving charge for you and having it completely removed from your record, if that were possible. That gift of payment would be yours if you accepted it.

Jesus paid for all of our sins and it’s your decision whether to accept that gift and respond to his invitation to start a relationship with him. It’s your decision.

I don't know what you're dealing with. Maybe it's excessive drinking, sex or drugs. Or being compulsive about exercise. Or killing yourself to achieve some goal so you can feel good about yourself. These are all substitutes for our genuine need for connectedness with people and God. We all have that void within us that can only be filled by a relationship with God.

Maybe you would like to start a relationship with God right now. All you have to do is just tell him. He knows the desire of your heart and is much more concerned with that than he is with your words. You might want to say something like this:

"God, I want to know you. I want to be connected to you. I have tried other things to fill my need for you, and they haven't worked. Forgive me that I didn't come to you first. Thank you that you love me and want me to know you. I accept that you made this relationship possible through Jesus' death. I trust you. Amen."

You'll find a relationship with God fulfilling and satisfying. When you are connected with God you have the foundation to build meaningful, lasting and significant relationships. Quench your real thirst.

►	I just asked Jesus into my life (some helpful information follows)...
►	I may want to ask Jesus into my life, please explain this more fully...
►	I have a question or comment...